|
On Twitter Current Archive Contact Us Boycott Us Stalk Us Give Us Money Atom Feed
All information guaranteed absolutely accurate or your money back.
|
- - -
Friday, June 06, 2003
ARN&R Exclusive: Simon Cowell Vomits On World Class Coaster For the acid-tongued judge on Fox's American Idol, the hits keep on coming, but not on Busch Gardens' Apollo's Chariot. Simon Cowell, host of the upcoming CBS feature Cupid, reportedly wanted to keep in the public light. "I figured, if Fabio could extend his pathetic career by a few minutes by getting hit by a bird on a coaster, so could I," said Cowell in an exclusive interview with ARN&R, in which he declared that he would try to repeat Fabio's feat. After several (flawed) attempts at getting hit in the face by a bird, the speed and power of the B&M floorless coaster got the best of him and Simon Cowell vomited uncontrollably, while others aboard the �Chariot' apparently remained unconcerned and downright bored. "I found the total experience to be quite nauseating, to say the least," stated Cowell, who can be seen in the ARN&R exclusive photograph sitting next to his body guard and public relations managers. "If I had to do it all over again, I would rather a fan toss a bird directly in my path the first go round. It is also quite evident that someone paid entirely too much for an on ride photo at my expense and should purchase an ARN&R frame to go along with their evildoing." --RAS Posted at 8:57 AM | Link | 0 comment(s)
|
By the way, in case you're really not too sharp, this is satire.
Our favorite review: "as a joke it [ARN&R] wasn't that funny. all of my family take parks very seriuslyand all thow we laffed after time we were apoled by the joke."
Anything you e-mail us is fair game to go on the site or to be used in any other way, including printing it up real big and posting it outside AbsolutelyReliableTowers.
Sorry, your IQ must be this high and your age at least 18 to be among the intended readers of ARN&R. Please enjoy some of our other attractions.
We like gravy and the occasional buffet. The greatest thing ever, however, would be a gravy buffet.
0 Comment(s):
Post a Comment