Model Enthusiast Tires of Picturesque Parks; Builds Replica of Riverside

Dayton, OH -- Randy Parent has been building models since he could walk. His first, constructed when he was four, was a scale replica of Six Flags Magic Mountain's Revolution coaster, made entirely out of used popsicle sticks.

Now 27, Randy has constructed everything from Kennywood's Thunderbolt (complete with a scale model of the Monogahela River and Pittsburg's steel mills) to Cedar Point's new Top Thrill Dragster (featuring a speaker mounted into the grandstand that emits cheers every twenty minutes when a train is launched).

But Randy says he's working on his biggest challenge yet. "The problem," says Randy, covered with gesso and bits of balsa wood amid the beginnings of his new project, "is that all of the parks and rides that I've built are the ones everyone else is building. I haven't found my artistic voice until now."

Randy used to post his creations at modelrollercoastergeeks.com, but it wasn't very satisfying for him when, "everybody and their brother, like, was doing the same thing, and they had more money than me and could afford a Dremel. I'm a traditionalist. I use a jacknife."

So he decided to stake out new territory. "It was kinda unrealistic how everyone's models always look so perfect. Life isn't like that. So I wanted to find a park that represented the harsh realities of real life. When I did the steel mills, man, that was it." He chose as his subject the former Riverside Park in Agawam, Massachusetts.

"I didn't have to worry about prettying this up," he said. "And I didn't have to waste my money on fake trees and flowers. Hell, I didn't even have to put any people in it!"

The main theme of the park, he said, was asphalt. So he spent half his weekly salary from RediMart to purchase a gallon of liquid asphalt patch. "I just basically dumped the whole thing on a piece of scrap wood. I couldn't believe how much it looked like the park!" ARN&R has obtained an exclusive digital photograph of the elaborate theming:



When asked if any special techniques were required for this daunting project, Randy said that he would down at least a six pack of Molson's before each modeling session. "That way I'd be so tanked, I'd be spilling paint everywhere and wrecking parts of my coaster structures. That added a lot of realism. I'm sick of those no-talent modelers who, like, make their parks look so damn clean I could eat off their fake grass. The world is a dirty place, man."

Randy expects to have his magnum opus finished "in about another fifteen minutes unless I pass out again." When asked if he was going to attempt to follow up his masterpiece, he responded between belches, "Man, if this crap, like, gets no recognition...man, I'm like...y'know...this is like the work of pure genius, and nothing'll top it."

He continued, his voice trailing off into a haze of alcohol, "I've gotta do New England, y'know. Everyone thinks it's like the best place. They think it's so pretty and everything. But I know what it really is. I can see it for what it is, y'know?" He gestured widely to his half-finished model. "I know what's underneath it all. I'm building the belly of the beast."

--JRD

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