Six Flags Restaurant Boss Won't Stop Believing

Tim Stooker feels like going into work "sucks" now more than ever. He earns his daily bread at the Pink Taco, a Mexican Restaurant in Six Flags St. Louis. Surprisingly, it isn't the mullet sporting, Wal-Mart shopping, child-beating patrons that bother him. It's his boss.

"Stan Hansen got promoted this year and his musical taste sucks," Stooker lamented in an interview with ARN&R. "It would be one thing if he brought in a variety of shitty CDs, but it is always the same one -- Journey's Greatest Hits. If I have to hear 'Open Arms' again I'm going to cut my balls off. I just can't take it anymore."

One of Stooker's co-workers, Allan Scott, agreed. "The dude just keeps pumping the same disc over and over. It is killing me. I never thought I would relish hearing Air Supply or Eddie Money, but I would kill to rock out to 'Two Tickets To Paradise' just once. That would be four minutes of musical bliss. Before, I just thought 'Any Way You Want It' was a good adult film. Now whenever I see Jenna going at it all I can hear is Steve Perry singing, 'Oh, she said, Any way you want it, That's the way you need it, Any way you want it.' That definitely took the fun out of porn for me."

Hansen hasn't caught onto the fact that the people under him don't enjoy the CD quite as much as he does.

"Everyone loves rockin' with Steve Perry, Neal, Jon, Ross and Steve Smith," said an obviously elated Stan. "I have heard 'Lights' countless times and that song still touches my heart, just like I am sure it touches each and every one of these guys who get to cut tomatoes and onions for eight hours a day with a twenty minute break...if we're not understaffed."

Stooker, Scott and others have done everything they can to make the CD "vanish." They admitted it had been stolen three times, but whenever it disappeared Hansen went out to his '85 Mustang, brought in his "Greatest Hits" cassette and bought a new copy of the disc that night.

His co-workers are just happy that he will be out of town for a few days to see Journey on tour at California's Del Mar Fairgrounds on June 13. "No they don't have Steve Perry," Hansen giggled, "but they will still be kicking ass on stage. I know I'll still enjoy listening to 'Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin' with my mom."

--FMB

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