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Monday, October 09, 2006
Holiday World One of the Big Boys Now, Will Act Accordingly In a surprise press release from Holiday World, issued shortly after its press release announcing that the park had attracted over a million guests, the park announced a number of initiatives designed to show the amusement industry that HW had "arrived." Among them: - Eat a dog turd, cut in line for Raven. Eat a cow patty, cut in line for The Voyage. - All HW employees will receive new sullenness training so that they can achieve "the great results of other big parks like Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom" - New for 2007: five trim brakes on every coaster! - All food will be branded, mostly Jack in the Box with Natural Selection spinach salads. - The park will announce a new focus on being "family-friendly" in the spring, only to end the season with massive advertising of teen-oriented coasters and Halloween attractions, possibly with pole dancing in lines. - HW's new president? Joe Torre. --GP Posted at 1:33 PM | Link | 0 comment(s)
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By the way, in case you're really not too sharp, this is satire.
Our favorite review: "as a joke it [ARN&R] wasn't that funny. all of my family take parks very seriuslyand all thow we laffed after time we were apoled by the joke."
Anything you e-mail us is fair game to go on the site or to be used in any other way, including printing it up real big and posting it outside AbsolutelyReliableTowers.
Sorry, your IQ must be this high and your age at least 18 to be among the intended readers of ARN&R. Please enjoy some of our other attractions.
We like gravy and the occasional buffet. The greatest thing ever, however, would be a gravy buffet.
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